Relaxation techniques

Relaxation techniques for well being.

You will find 2 totally different relaxation techniques on this page.

The first one is the basic technique that will help us create new reflexes in our body. When you practice it, you're taking a pause from the outer world for at least thirty minutes!

The second relaxation technique is for use in everyday life, each time you have a few minutes, during a pause from work for example, for general maintenance. I call it the monkey's dance.

Basic relaxation technique.

My master used to say "comfort first!!!!!!!". Before you start this relaxation technique bring all that you need to feel comfortable, pillars, blanket, wear comfortable cloths, shut down the phone, and then lay down on your back. Organize yourself, you might want a small pillow under your head, one under your knees or cover yourself.

With a big exhale we let our body sink slowly to the ground, make small movements to check if whole the back side of your body is well in touch with the ground. Shoulders, head, back, spine and muscles, pelvis. Now we're ready!

In the basic relaxation technique we are going to use our mind and inner voice to relax our body. Therefore we will send intentions - using simple, precise key words and short phrases, pronounced with a calm and monochord voice - to our body. The rhythm of the work will be given by your breath. Send the keywords while you exhale.

1. HEAVY

The first key word is HEAVY, think HEAVY, While you scan your body, part after part, taking your time. Inhale slowly and gently (=with no effort), while you exhale think "HEAVY", Bring your attention to your feet, think "HEAVY", and feel how your feet become heavy and sink into the ground, move with your attention through your feet, skin, muscles, bones, from the toes to the heels, and think HEAVY. When your feet become so heavy that you feel there's no way to lift them up,

Move to the calves. Inhale slowly and gently (=with no effort), while you exhale think "HEAVY", Bring your attention to your calves, think "HEAVY", and feel how your calves become heavy and sink into the ground, walk with your attention through them, skin, muscles, bones, think "HEAVY". When your calves become so heavy that you feel there's no way to lift them up,

Move to the thighs. Inhale slowly and gently, while you exhale think HEAVY,....

Move your attention to your pelvis,....HEAVY

To the back, ......don't forget move allover your back: spine, ribs, muscles and skin, ............HEAVY..............

Shoulders.................HEAVY

Arms...................HEAVY

Hands.............HEAVY

Head,............very HEAVY.....brain also HEAVY....

One more long exhale, think "MY BODY IS HEAVY", watch it sinking even more.

2. WARM

Now think "WARM". Look for a place in the body that feels the warmest, intent this local sensation to spread as far as

possible and fill the whole body. Imagine the sun warming you up.

Feet ...WARM.

Calves....WARM.

Thighs....WARM.

Pelvis...WARM.

Back and shoulders....WARM.

Arms and hands....WARM.

Neck.......WARM.

Head.......WARM.

3. HEART

Listen to your heartbeat. Think "MY HEARTBEAT IS STRONG". It might take some time until you perceive it. Be patient and calm. Keep saying the key phrase until you hear and feel you heart.

4.BREATH

Think "MY BREATH IS CALM AND SPONTANIOUS", and observe your breath as long as you feel like. Stay focused on your key phrase.

5.TANTIEN

Think "TANTIEN" (hara, whatever, from now on we will call it TANTIEN), move your attention to your lower belly, about 2 cm under your navel, inside, wright in the middle, the center of your body.

Try to feel the place, look for small sensations, look for a presence. You might not feel anything the first time. If so, imagine a ball, the size of a golf ball but much heavier. Imagine this ball going up with your inhales and down with your exhales.

If you still don't feel it, laugh and you will feel it vibrate.

6.FACE

Think "MY FACE IS RELAXED", and slowly relax all the small face muscles, starting with the forehead becoming smooth, moving to the eyes, eyebrows and eye corners, the temples, the nose, cheeks falling down to the sides and pull the lips, who touch each other slightly with no effort, the jaws, the tongue is relaxed and touches the back of the upper teeth, relax the throat also, go inside to the vocal chords, relax it deeply. Listen carefully, notice that each time a thought comes up to your mind, something happens with your vocal chords, small micro movements or contractions, as if the body says your thought. Now intent relaxing the vocal chords totally, .....and,no more thought will come to your mind, no noise, silence......

Now be conscious of all your body, deeply relaxed. Enjoy this sensation of well being. Stay as long as you want, when you decide to come back, do it slowly, first stretch your arms and legs, your back, start breathing more deeply, only then turn on your side before you get up.

Hi, how do you feel now?

This was a basic relaxation technique, all the more advanced chi techniques we will learn in the future, will start with this relaxation.

This relaxation technique might be too long to begin with, I suggest you to divide the technique in six parts: HEAVY, WARM, HEART, BREATH, TANTIEN, FACE.

Do one of them everyday, and take a rest on the seventh day! Then again,do that for a few weeks, then do the whole technique.

Relaxation technique 2: The monkey's dance.

Our second relaxation technique is a funny one,

Standing up, with unlocked knees, rounded back, the upper part of the body relaxed. Start to make your body shake slightly with no effort, the movement comes from the heels, try to create an inner vibration that releases tensions, from different parts of the body: back, shoulders, arms, hands, face, brain....shake and release tensions.

Move you weight from one side to the other. Try different angles, each one will help you release a different area.

You can add voice if you feel like, "aaahh, aaaaahhhhh...aaaaaaahhhhh...aahh....ahhh...the sound comes out with no effort from the deepest parts of your body.

Imagine the body is full of water and feel how the vibrations move this water and make it flow easily. Try to hear the noise of the flowing water in the body, like "ploc, ploc, ploc....". Do it with joy, like a little kid!

These two relaxations techniques are a starting point on your way to enhance energy in your life. Good luck.

How To Get Rid Of Your Bad Habits And Behaviors

If you’re looking for ways how to get rid of bad habits and behaviors, this will be the perfect article for you. I’m going to share with you how you can ‘delete’ your bad habits and behaviors today.

You know, success is all about what you do in your life. And therefore, your habits and behaviors play important roles in it.

If you’re someone who procrastinate a lot and lazy to take action, you’ll never produce the results you want in your life. Your negative habits will not bring you the results you want.

As a result, you must start by adopting positive and empowering habits that will bring you what you want in your life.

To get rid of your negative habits, you must first understand what creates them.

Your habits are created by your thoughts. When you were born into this world, you have no habits. You pick up your habits from the influence from your surrounding and your own life experiences.

Your parents, your friends, your teachers, your boss, your peers… basically anyone can affect your habits by influencing your thoughts.

Once you have a certain thought in your mind, your mind will start to send signals to your emotion and hence you will take a certain set of action, which is your habits, to produce a certain results.

And after you’ve got the results, you’ll reinforce the thoughts in your mind.

For example, what will you do if I give you $100 right now? It depends on your habit toward the extra money. Some people will use to buy something they love, some people will buy meals, and some people will save or invest it.

When you invest the money, you’ll feel satisfy. This feeling of satisfaction will reinforce your brain and that next time if you ever receive any extra money, you’ll invest it as well.

On the other hand, if you spend the money to buy something that you desire, the instant gratification will also help to reinforce the thoughts in your mind.

Unless something ‘bad’ happened, you’ll keep on cycling the same pattern over and over again.

What I mean is, if you want to change your habit, you must create a new thought and emotion in your mind to replace the existing pattern.

It is not like computer, which you can simply press on the delete button to delete away files that you don’t want. Your mind works differently in ‘deleting’ negative thoughts or habits that you don’t want.

Like what I mentioned above, if you want to get rid of your negative habits and behaviors, you’ll have to start by replacing your old patterns with new ones.

Take back the previous example. If you spend the $100 I give you into gambling, and you lose them all, will this result help you to better manage your extra money you get in the future? Of course it would.

Conversely, if you invest the $100 into something, and you earn an extra $100 from it, which now you have $200 at your hand, you’ll definitely create a strong emotion and thought pattern into your mind about investing.

You’ll most likely to invest any extra money I give you in the future. This is how you can change your habits and behaviors.

Some people procrastinate all the time. They choose to watch TV instead of investing their time into reading development books. They get instant gratification of feeling joy when watching TV. This will reinforce their thought pattern that watching TV is good and reading books is something they don’t like.

This cycle will keep on going until one day, something forces them to change. Such as if they did not change their habits, they’ll be in dept. When this happen, they’ll forces themselves to take different set of action that will lead to different results.

And if they get positive results, they’ll form a new thought pattern and new habits for themselves.

This is exactly how your mind works and how your habits can be formed and replaced with new and empowering ones.

So start by noticing your old thinking patterns that lead you to a certain habit.

After that, try to create a new thinking by asking empowering questions and focus on positive thoughts. When you do this, you’ll feel the difference. Take action that will lead you to the results you want immediately.

Once you have taken the action, you’ll get the results you want and you’ll create change in your mind, or reinforce your thought pattern.

This is the real art of how to get rid of bad habits and behaviors.

how to overcome your fear???

“Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out.” Karl Augustus Menninger “The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.” Mahatma Gandhi What is holding you back? Whatever you answer, it will in many cases boil down to fear in some form. Now, fear can be useful to keep yourself alive. But many times, especially if you live a
life where you have the possibility to reading these words, fear is just a big obstacle in
your path. But what can you do about fear? How can you overcome it? In this article I’d like to explore a few of the timeless things that people have learned
about that throughout the last few thousands of years. 1. Face your fear to become stronger. “I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.” Frank Herbert “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really
stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this
horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you
cannot do.” Eleanor Roosevelt Every time you face a fear you gain the 3 important qualities that Eleanor Roosevelt
mentions above. And the next thing that comes along will be easier to handle. And if you have to handle a big fear, whatever it may be, and later realise you actually
survived it, many things in life you may have feared previously seems to shrink. Those
fears become smaller. They might even disappear. You might think to yourself that what you thought was a fear before wasn’t that much
to be afraid of at all. Everything is relative. And every triumph, problem, fear and
experience becomes bigger or smaller depending to what you compare it to. But to gain a wider perspective of human experience and grow you really have to step
up and face your fear. 2. Facing your fear can be surprisingly anticlimactic. “When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him
boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was
only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.” Ralph Waldo Emerson This is perhaps my favourite quote about fear. From a distance and in you mind things
may seem very difficult and frightening. But when you actually step up and take action I
think many of us have been surprised of how the beard of that bully just comes off.
Why? Let’s move on to the next tip… 3. Take action and get busy. “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to
conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” Dale Carnegie “Worry gives a small thing a big shadow.” Swedish proverb You can’t sit around think and waiting for courage and confidence to come knocking
on the door. If you do, you may just experience the opposite effect. The more you think,
the more fear you build within. We often build scary monsters in our heads. Maybe because of things we have learned from the news, the TV or the movies. Or we
just think so much about something that our minds start to create totally unlikely horror
scenarios of what may happen. As you may have noticed in your own life, 80-90 percent of what we worry about
never really comes into reality. Instead things can become anticlimactic when we take
action. The beard of the bully comes off surprisingly easy if we just step up and take
action. And many times we get the courage we need after we have done what we feared. Not
the other way around. 4. Fear is often based on unhelpful interpretation. “Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real.” Unknown As humans we like to look for patterns. The problem is just that we often find negative
and not so helpful patterns in our lives based on just one or two experiences. Or by
misjudging situations. Or through some silly miscommunication. When you get too identified with your thoughts you’ll believe anything they tell you. A
moe helpful practise may be to not take your thoughts too seriously. A lot of the time
they and your memory are pretty inaccurate. But this is a good thing too. Because it opens you up to re-examining old beliefs you have based on experiences
you may have interpreted in not the most helpful way. It opens you up to try again and
see what happens this time instead of staying stuck in thought, inaction and fear. 5. Don’t cling to your illusion of safety. “Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are
caught as often as the bold. Helen Keller “Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature…. Life is either a daring
adventure or nothing. Helen Keller Why do people sit on their hands? Is it just because they become paralyzed with fear?
I’d say no. Another big reason why people don’t face their fears is because they think
they are safe where they are right now. But the truth is what Keller says; safety is
mostly a superstition. It is created in your mind to make you feel safe. But there is no
safety out there really. It is all uncertain and unknown. You may get laid off.
Someone may break up with you and leave.
Illness will probably strike.
Death will certainly strike in your surroundings and at some point come to visit you too.
Who knows what will happen? This superstition of safety is not just something negative. It’s also created by your mind
so you can function in life. No point in going all paranoid about what could happen a
minute from now day in and day out. But there is also not that much point in clinging to
an illusion of safety. So you need to find balance where you don’t obsessed by the
uncertainty but also recognize that it is there and live accordingly. As you stop clinging to your safety life also becomes a whole lot more exciting and
interesting. You are no longer as confined by an illusion and realize that you set your
limits for what you can do and to a large extent create your own freedom in the world.
You are no longer building walls to keep yourself safe as those walls wouldn’t protect
you anyway. 6. Be curious. “Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.”
James Stephens When you are stuck in fear you are closed up. You tend to create division in your world
and mind. You create barriers between you and other things/people. Curiosity on the other hand is filled with anticipation and enthusiasm. It opens you up.
And when you are open and enthusiastic then you have more fun things to think about
than focusing on your fear. Curiousness also opens you up to gain understanding of something. And with
understanding vague, fog-like fears disappears. The emotions you experience are often as a result of what you focus your mind on.
Change what you focus on about something and you can change your emotions about
that thing. How do you become more curious? One way is to remember how life has become more
fun in the past thanks to your curiosity and to remember all the cool things it helped to
discover and experience. And then to work at it. Curiosity is a habit. The more curious
you are the more curious you become. And over time it becomes more of a natural part
of you. 7. Remove separation. Remove fear. “Who sees all beings in his own self, and his own self in all beings, loses all fear.” Isa Upanishad, Hindu Scripture The ego wants to divide your world. It wants to create barriers, separation and loves to
play the comparison game. The game where people are different compare to you, the
game where you are better than someone and worse than someone else. All of that
creates fear. Doing the opposite removes fear. That there is no real separation between beings, that we are one and the same, might
sound a bit corny. But one thought you may want to try for a day is that everyone you meet is your
friend. Another one is to see what parts of yourself you can see in someone you meet. And
what parts of yourself you can see in him/her. There is often an underlying frame of mind in interactions. Either it asks us how we are
different to this person. Or how we are the same as this person. The first frame is based
in how the ego likes to judge people and create separation to strengthen itself (either
through feeling better or more like a victim). The second one creates warmth, an
openness and curiosity within. There is no place to focus on fear or judgement
anymore. This is of course not easy, especially if you have held the first frame of mind for many
years. But you can get insight into this by doing the rest of the things above. As you
face your fears the barriers and separation you have built in your mind decreases. You
come closer and feel more of a connection to other people. With action, curiousness and understanding we come closer to each other. We gain a
greater understanding of ourselves and others. And so it becomes easier to see them in
you. And you in them.

Tips to develope your personality....

1. Be interested in people. Try to discover what other people want. Know
their likes, dislikes, interests, and beliefs. By doing this, you will be
regarded as a person with an attractive and pleasing personality. 2. Assume that people like you. If you show the other person that you want people to
talk to you, they will react to you with warmth. 3. Admit your weaknesses. Do not regard yourself as a perfect person. Just as persons
have strengths, they also have their weaknesses. To improve your personality, you
should admit that you also have defects. 4. Admire your friends. Praise them for their achievements. Tell them how attractive
they look. Make them feel how important they are to you. By this, they will also give
importance. 5. Associate with people who are successful and happy. Seek the companionship of
others who can give you new points of views, renewed hopes, and meaningful life.
Ask for their advice and guidance. They can give you valuable insights about their
experiences in life. You can learn from their insights and apply their insights to
improving your personality. 6. Attend social gatherings. Social gatherings can increase your circle of friends. Social
events can likewise give you new insights and experiences. It can help improve your
relationships with other people and your community. Social gatherings can help you
develop your communication skills. 7. Change your environment. Go on vacation or rest in a new place. Renovate your
house and fix your furniture. Introduce changes in your environment. 8. Learn new things. Learn how to cook or play the piano. Enroll in voice lessons.
Indulge in gardening. By doing this, you are expanding your horizons. Aside from this, you can also develop your skills in other areas such as public speaking
and understanding other people’s attitudes and beliefs. Improving your personality
takes a lot of work and dedication. While it may take a lot of work, it can be
worthwhile and fun because you are focusing your attention on improving
relationships with others and yourself.

How to Relieve Your Frustration or Tension????

We all get frustrated when things do not happen to work, the way we wanted them to. Frustration sets in when we fail to achieve what we plan to get. Tension builds up when things go wrong or we fear the outcome of our actions. Tension can be before exams or declaration of result. One could get tense while preparing for a meeting or a report before a deadline. Tension can be due to failure of result or even when someone knowingly or unknowingly does or says something that upsets you. When you fail to make others see your point of view or when the expected results are not achieved, frustration might set in. You can even feel frustrated when you fail to come up with some idea for a new project or your plans do not get materialized. What ever be the cause of your frustration or tension, you have to get rid of them as fast as you can. You have to relieve yourself of the frustration or tension that has set in, to bounce back towards your goals, to succeed in your task. Frustration or tension can be one of the toughest road blocks that provide a hindrance to your moving ahead as planned. You can relieve tension or frustration only by letting it flow out of your mind and body. Your mind or body holds the frustration or tension and if you fail to let it out, it
accumulates. To relieve your mind off frustration, you can talk with someone close or clear your doubts with the person who is its source. Try centering your discussion around the matter that gave rise to your frustration, avoiding topics that could further instigate you or that have no relation to your problem. If it’s not possible to have a conversation with someone, avoid blasting out at somebody who is not even remotely connected with your frustration. It might give you temporary relief but your frustration is bound to set in again after some time. Instead you can write out your frustrated feelings. It will help you in relaxing your mind and relieving it off the frustrated thoughts. Write in detail the way you wanted things to proceed. Write about what you would have said to the concerned person. Give your written words all the anger you want to vent out. You can even publish your written content on the internet to let the steam out. Just be careful, if you happen to make your written feelings public, it might invite backlash from the person you speak about, if what you have written is in the extreme. To relieve your body off tension you can take a walk, go somewhere peaceful which gives you a happy feeling, indulge in something that takes your mind off your tension. Any activity that can help you in distracting your mind off the tension will bring relieve to your body. Most stage frights, when the body gets tense, are overcome by distracting your thoughts away. Distracting your thoughts to a picture of something that soothes your nerves is the easiest and the best reliever of body tension. Relieve frustration or tension to move ahead and stay ahead, always in control.

Say good bye to alcohols...........how to quit??

Anyone who is trapped in a cycle of alcoholism probably wants to quit drinking alcohol, but fear holds us back. This is why denial manifests itself. The alcoholic can come up with all sorts of reasons of why the do not want to quit drinking, but deep down it is always fear that keeps us from taking action and making a change.
I don’t know how to help you get past that fear. I just know that if you are sick and tired of living the way that you’ve been living, at some point you will throw up your hands and say “This is it. I have to make a change.” This is the point of surrender and it is when you are able to move past the fear of not drinking. Something happens on an inner level and you decide that it is time to try something different. And thus you ask for help. You ask others how you should live. This is the point of surrender and you have to reach this point in order to make any lasting changes in your life. If you do not reach this psychological threshold then any attempts to quit drinking will most likely fail.
Like I said I am not sure how to actually induce this state of surrender in people, but now that you know about it you can at least identify if you are ready to quit drinking or not. If you are ready, then what follows is some basic information on the other stuff you should probably know about.

Physically quitting alcohol

Quitting drinking is dangerous. Alcohol withdrawal can be fatal. Not taking a drink can actually kill a person. These are true statements and you have to realize that if someone is heavily addicted to alcohol then they are in great danger if they suddenly stop drinking alcohol. If this is the case in your situation then you might need to seek immediate medical treatment. If someone stops drinking suddenly and they are starting to shake violently then you need to get them to an emergency room immediately.
Because of this danger, the best option is really to quit drinking in a treatment center or drug rehab facility. There you will be under constant medical care in a supervised detox area. This is the ideal route to go just for the sake of safety alone. Any other method of detox is going to introduce more risk to the person’s health, so ideally you should try to quit drinking at a treatment center.
Basically what happens at a treatment center is that the staff there will monitor your vital signs and give you medication that will keep you from going through several withdrawal symptoms. In some cases the medicine that they give to a person will prevent them from having seizures.

Alcoholics Anonymous

Many people who struggle to quit drinking alcohol will find their way to Alcoholics Anonymous. This is a huge solution for alcoholism that can be found in many different countries all over the world. In the United States, there are AA meetings in every major city, and pretty much any mid-sized or even smaller city as well. They are pretty much everywhere.
The AA program is probably, on the whole, a good thing that is generally helpful. Those who dedicate themselves to the program tend to do well. If you look at the total numbers when it comes to success in AA, you may get discouraged though. Out of the thousands who pass through the door of AA, only a handful stay sober permanently. Many people reject the program outright and simply never return, according to AA census data. And of course, many of these people are those who are court-ordered to attend meetings and do not really want to be there anyway.
The AA program works for some, and it has the added benefit of basically being free. It is crazy not to take advantage of this and at least give the program a chance to work in your life. If it is not for you, then simply move on.

Quit drinking pill

Is there a pill to help you quit drinking? Alcoholics joke that if there was such a pill, then they would probably overdose on it. Medical science has not yet solved the problem of addiction, but they are coming out with new medications every once in a while that supposedly reduce cravings for alcohol and other drugs.
One such pill for alcoholism is called Campral. This is a pill that is taken several times each day and is proven to help reduce cravings for alcohol. It does not work miracles though, but it might be helpful for some. Many people who have used the medication have ended up relapsing anyway. It is not a magic bullet. At the present time, there is no magic bullet.

Quit drinking soda

If you want to quit drinking soda, then the process is a little bit different from quitting alcohol, though some of the concepts might be the same. You might try substitution as your primary method of giving up fountain drinks, such as by drinking milk, tea, or water instead of your daily soda.
Another technique is to slowly transition away from soda. Most people who are addicted to soda drink several each day. Start by replacing just one of your sodas with an alternative beverage such as milk, tea, or juice. Stick to that one replacement drink for a week or two and then try to replace a second soda with your replacement beverage. Thus you can transition away from soda and hardly even notice that you are missing it.
If the caffeine is part of the addiction with soda, then you will have to deal with that as well. You can replace the soda with regular tea, which does have some caffeine (regular tea, not herbal or green, which generally are caffeine free). This is, of course, quite a bit different from learning how to quit drinking alcohol. Really it is like comparing apples to oranges.

Quit drinking lose weight

If you quit drinking alcohol will you lose weight? You bet. Alcohol is empty calories that can seriously add up if you consume large quantities throughout the day or night. Pretty much any alcoholic who stops drinking will shed at least a few pounds due to the reduction in these empty calories. Sometimes this is all gained back when developing a sweet tooth in early recovery, but the trade off is more than worth it, as the alcoholic drinking carries a number of other problems with it as well that are far worse than weight gain.

Quit binge drinking

Some alcoholics are binge drinkers and do not drink alcohol every single day. Instead, they may go days, weeks, or months without taking a single drop of alcohol, then they will binge drink for several days straight. This can become tricky because the person can easily convince themselves that they do not really have a problem, because they can go for so long without taking a drink.
In the end, they need to get honest with themselves and see that alcohol is still a problem for them, even if they have periods of abstinence. When they binge, they completely lose control and cannot stop themselves from continuing to drink. Binge drinking can be deadly and it is also very difficult to arrest due to the long periods of abstinence that can keep the alcoholic stuck in denial for year and years.

Quit drinking medication

There are some other medications that might be used to help a person to quit drinking alcohol, such as Antabuse or Naltrexone. Antabuse is a preventative medication that makes the alcoholic violently ill if they drink alcohol while taking the drug. It has been used with some success but for the most part it is just a way for the alcoholic to try and manipulate themselves. Naltrexone is another medication that tries to reduce cravings for alcohol by reducing the effectiveness of the alcohol in creating pleasure in the brain.
There will probably be more medications to help people quit drinking that will be developed in the coming years, and it is very likely that none of them will be a magic cure that solves the problem completely.

Stop drinking alcohol

Ultimately the solution for any alcoholic is to simply stop drinking alcohol and learn how to live a sober life. This is easier said than done and of course this is why there are all sorts of programs out there to try and help alcoholics to recover.
It is not enough to merely abstain from alcohol. If this were true then we could cure alcoholism at the individual level without any help at all. The solution has to go beyond the alcohol itself because the problem is more fundamental than an addiction to a substance. Something inside of the alcoholic is a bit off and causes them to self medicate and self destruct. Alcohol is just one vehicle for doing so. There are other options available and alcoholics will eventually find them if they are not working on a positive solution for more healthy living.
You can’t just stop drinking booze and expect recovery to happen. You have to work for it by creating positive change in your life on an ongoing basis. This is the growth that fuels recovery.

Can you quit drinking alone?

Of course people actually have quit drinking alcohol alone but it is not recommended for the reasons listed above. But there are other reasons to seek treatment and find others to help you with quitting drinking.
Part of the definition of alcoholism is that we cannot stop drinking by ourselves. If we could then it would not be a true addiction. The fact that we are hopelessly addicted means that we need help in order to quit. This is another strong reason to seek treatment.
At a treatment center, you will get help in several ways, all of which give you a great advantage over trying to quit on your own:
1) Peer support – in treatment, you will meet other people who are trying to quit drinking just like you are. Believe it or not you can help each other to stay sober. This is a powerful concept in recovery.
2) New knowledge – you will learn a great deal in treatment about how to live a life without alcohol. You will learn from the therapists and counselors, as well as from your peers. This is important because when we first get sober, we do not know enough information about how to live sober. We need new knowledge for recovery.
3) Safe environment - you will not be as tempted to drink or use drugs because you will be in a safe and supportive environment.
In early recovery, networking with other people is especially important. Don’t try to quit drinking alone or you’ll only make it harder on yourself. Use the benefits of working with others in recovery to your advantage and your chances of staying sober will increase greatly.

What does it take to stay sober in the long run?

After you quit drinking, you of course have the rest of your life ahead of you to deal with. How are you going to do it sober? If you can’t answer this question, then you need to take action and find out what your path in sobriety is going to consist of.
Nobody stays sober by sitting on the couch all day and wishing that their life was different. If you want to quit drinking then you have to actually do something. Recovery demands action. If you just focus on eliminating the drinking behavior then you are going to fail. You have to replace that life of drinking with a life of passion and purpose. You have to find things that excite you in recovery and get involved with them. Essentially, you must create a new life for yourself in recovery.
Creation is the key to long term sobriety. Creating this new life is how you actually quit drinking in the long run. If you don’t create a new life that is worth living, then you will eventually return to the drinking.
Let’s face it: alcoholics love to drink. It is their passion. So would you expect them to walk away from this passion and live a boring and uneventful life? It will never happen. The alcoholic knows that they can find at least some excitement and satisfaction with being drunk, even if it brings some misery along with it. Over time, the alcoholic will remember the good times of drinking and forget how miserable it ended up making them. This will lead to relapse if they do not have a compelling reason to stay sober.
Therefore, you need a compelling reason to stay sober. The way to find this reason is to create it in your life. Find your passion. Find your joy. Find a way to reach out and help other people in recovery. Create a life that is worth living sober and you will remain sober. If you get lazy and allow yourself to stagnate and become bored then your mind will return to thoughts of drinking.
Purpose. Meaning. Passion.
Quit drinking alcohol and start living. Simple as that................

How to motivate yourself........self motivation

Staying motivated is a struggle — our drive is constantly assaulted by negative
thoughts and anxiety about the future. Everyone faces doubt and depression. What
separates the highly successful is the ability to keep moving forward. There is no simple solution for a lack of motivation. Even after beating it, the problem
reappears at the first sign of failure. The key is understanding your thoughts and
how they drive your emotions. By learning how to nurture motivating thoughts,
neutralize negative ones, and focus on the task at hand, you can pull yourself out of a
slump before it gains momentum. Reasons We Lose Motivation There are 3 primary reasons we lose motivation. 1. Lack of confidence – If you don’t believe you can succeed, what’s the point in trying? 2. Lack of focus – If you don’t know what you want, do you really want anything? 3. Lack of direction – If you don’t know what to do, how can you be motivated to do it? How to Boost Confidence The first motivation killer is a lack of confidence. When this happens to me, it’s usually
because I’m focusing entirely on what I want and neglecting what I already have.
When you only think about what you want, your mind creates explanations for why
you aren’t getting it. This creates negative thoughts. Past failures, bad breaks, and
personal weaknesses dominate your mind. You become jealous of your competitors
and start making excuses for why you can’t succeed. In this state, you tend to make a bad impression, assume the worst about others, and lose self confidence. The way to get out of this thought pattern is to focus on gratitude. Set aside time to
focus on everything positive in your life. Make a mental list of your strengths, past
successes, and current advantages. We tend to take our strengths for granted and
dwell on our failures. By making an effort to feel grateful, you’ll realize how
competent and successful you already are. This will rejuvenate your confidence and
get you motivated to build on your current success. It might sound strange that repeating things you already know can improve your
mindset, but it’s amazingly effective. The mind distorts reality to confirm what it
wants to believe. The more negatively you think, the more examples your mind will
discover to confirm that belief. When you truly believe that you deserve success,
your mind will generate ways to achieve it. The best way to bring success to
yourself is to genuinely desire to create value for the rest of the world. Developing Tangible Focus The second motivation killer is a lack of focus. How often do you focus on what you
don’t want, rather than on a concrete goal? We normally think in terms of fear. I’m
afraid of being poor. I’m afraid no one will respect me. I’m afraid of being alone. The
problem with this type of thinking is that fear alone isn’t actionable. Instead of doing
something about our fear, it feeds on itself and drains our motivation. If you’re caught up in fear based thinking, the first step is focusing that energy on a
well defined goal. By defining a goal, you automatically define a set of actions. If you
have a fear of poverty, create a plan to increase your income. It could be going back
to school, obtaining a higher paying job, or developing a profitable website. The key
is moving from an intangible desire to concrete, measurable steps. By focusing your mind on a positive goal instead of an ambiguous fear, you put your
brain to work. It instantly begins devising a plan for success. Instead of worrying
about the future you start to do something about it. This is the first step in motivating
yourself to take action. When know what you want, you become motivated to take
action. Developing Direction The final piece in the motivational puzzle is direction. If focus means having an
ultimate goal, direction is having a day-to-day strategy to achieve it. A lack of
direction kills motivation because without an obvious next action we succumb to
procrastination. An example of this is a person who wants to have a popular blog,
but who spends more time reading posts about blogging than actually writing
articles. The key to finding direction is identifying the activities that lead to success. For every
goal, there are activities that pay off and those that don’t. Make a list of all your
activities and arrange them based on results. Then make a make an action plan that
focuses on the activities that lead to big returns. To continue the example from above,
a blogger’s list would look something like this: 1. Write content 2. Research relevant topics 3. Network with other bloggers 4. Optimize design and ad placements 5. Answer comments and email 6. Read other blogs Keeping track of your most important tasks will direct your energy towards success.
Without a constant reminder, it’s easy to waste entire days on filler activities like
reading RSS feeds, email, and random web surfing. When my motivation starts to wane, I regain direction by creating a plan that
contains two positive actions. The first one should be a small task you’ve been
meaning to do, while the second should be a long-term goal. I immediately do the
smaller task. This creates positive momentum. After that I take the first step towards
achieving the long-term goal. Doing this periodically is great for getting out of a
slump, creating positive reinforcement, and getting long-term plans moving. It’s inevitable that you’ll encounter periods of low energy, bad luck, and even the
occasional failure. If you don’t discipline your mind, these minor speed bumps can
turn into mental monsters. By being on guard against the top 3 motivation killers you
can preserve your motivation and propel yourself to success.

How to quit smoking??

There are literally dozens of tips to quit smoking naturally. There isn't
one clear natural method or pattern for quitting smoking naturally but rather a
number of short tips to try in hopes that one or more will help you kick the
nicotine habit. (1) Think in a positive manner. This is not an unattainable goal. (2) Don't give up when you have a bad day or backslide. You can still quit! (3) Make a list of the reasons that you want to quit smoking. Post copies of this list
everywhere you spend time. Put the list at various places in your home, at work,
in your car and carry one with you. (4) Replace your cigarette break with an orange juice break, or to smoke only
those you really want. Don't just light that cigarette out of habit. (5) You may experience some withdrawal symptoms when you are trying to quit
smoking. Be prepared and have a game plan. (6) If you become irritable be ready with some ideas that may make you less irritable.
Consider meditation, yoga or a dance or exercise class. (7) Carry hard candy or gum with you. These things can help if your mouth becomes
dry. (8) Form a support group or join one that is already in existence. A group of people
who are also trying to quit smoking can be very supportive and you will be able to
share tips. (9) Celebrate each milestone. Treat yourself to a movie, a night out with friends or a
walk in the park. (10) Start noticing the benefits of a smokeless life. It won't be long before you are
breathing easier and thinking more clearly. Your clothing, home and car will no longer
smell like smoke. You will be much more pleasant to kiss. Follow these tips to quit smoking naturally and you will be able to kiss those butts
goodbye forever.

Oh! You are in public speaking or in an interview.......feeling nervous???? how to overcome your nervousness?

When you are feeling nervous it might be impossible to be at your best. Often, feelings of social anxiety, fear of public speaking or shyness may contribute to nervous feelings. It is possible to overcome nervousness to some degree so that you might look and feel more confident in any situation. Here are some tips.

Instructions
1

Practice in the mirror. If you have to give a speech, go on a date or attend a party, practice scenarios in the mirror. Make up imaginary scripts and situations and actually perform them. You might even audiotape or videotape yourself to better visualize yourself performing well in a public setting.
2

Practice what you are going to say and become knowledgeable about subjects that might arise in social situations. If you are going to a party for instance, try to know what is happening in the news, entertainment or new technological advances in order to be able to have a successful conversation. Even knowing a little about these subjects will help you to appear somewhat knowledgeable. If you are giving a speech, be sure to know your topic well. If you get forget what you had planned, you can always speak from what you know to fill in the gaps.
3

Learn deep breathing relaxation techniques, yoga and meditation. All of these activities will help you deal with feelings of nervousness by helping you to psychologically and physiologically calm the body when you experience feelings of nervousness or anxiety. Take three or four deep breaths when you are in a situation where you feel nervous to calm the body and provide oxygen to the brain. This will help you to think more clearly and slow your heartbeat to a more normal level.
4

Use visualization. Whether you are meditating or just closing your eyes for a few minutes, visualize the situation in which you become nervous and see yourself as successfully navigating that situation. For instance if you become shy in social situations, see yourself as being outgoing and talkative. This enables you to better cope in real life.
5

Force yourself to do the things that make you nervous. If you become anxious when you go out, try to socialize more often. If public speaking is a trigger for your anxiety, get up and speak in public. The more accustomed you become to situations that cause you fear, the more easy they will become. Be sure to practice the situations using the above techniques before actually performing the activities to encourage positive experiences.
6

Put things in perspective. Understand that whatever the situation is that is making you nervous is likely not going to alter your life in any real way if you are not successful. For instance, if you fear getting up in front of people and making a speech, and you slip up and forget the words, it is not the end of the world. It will likely be embarrassing, but can also be a learning experience. Imagine the worst case scenario. Plan for what you will do if things do not go as planned. Come up with some jokes and see yourself having to improvise in a situation.
7

Become an actor. Sometimes acting as if you are confident is helpful. If you act like you are not shy it will help you to become less inhibited. Try to imitate someone that you feel is confident and attempt to take on that individuals characteristics. Sometimes being shy is the fear of not being accepted for who you are. If you can act as someone else, that fear may dissipate to some degree.
8

Smile and ask questions when you feel you cannot come up with any conversation. People love to talk about themselves. Know basic questions that will break the ice such as "what kind of work do you do," "do you have any children," "where are you from," "what school do/did you attend," "have you seen any good movies lately," "what sort of music do you like," etc. Plan these questions ahead of time so you do not get stuck in conversation.
9

Try Kava Kava, valerian root and chamomile tea to calm your nerves. These herbs have a physiologically calming effect. Lemon balm can also be used in a tea form to calm the nerves. Try wearing a lavender scent to calm your nerves.
10

Appear confident and never let people know you are nervous. This will make you feel more confident as well. Remember, most people suffer from nervousness in unknown situations. The key is to appear as if you are comfortable. This makes everyone around you feel less anxious as well and will lighten most situations.

How grow your self confidence

Self confidence is a measure of one’s belief in one’s own abilities. If you want to build your self confidence, you must know what your weaknesses are. If you don’t know your weakness, it’s difficult to overcome them. Here’s how to grow self confidence with ease.

If you have a strong mind, then you can develop self confidence automatically. It can be developed through regular practice. The followings are some tips about to develop your self confidence and feel better about yourself.

1. Always speak positively and with confidence, and do not think in negative directions.

2. Do a little something to improve yourself day.

3. Ask your friends about the personal areas in which you improvement. Friends can be an enormous source of help.

4. There are many courses which teach you how to develop self confidence. Joining well known courses can help.

5. Never put yourself down.

These practices will increase your self confidence. While developing self confidence, you must have patience. At the same time you must be able to exhibit self control to avoid your vices. Try to avoid negative influences in your life and give importance to those influences which are positive. If you have bad friends, your confidence level may decrease. So have friendships with positive friends who uplift you.

There are many books on self confidence, as well. By reading them, also you can develop better habits that will increase your belief in yourself. At the same time, avoid your bad habits. If you keep doing things you know aren’t good for you, your self-confidence will decrease.

You should always avoid procrastination. This causes stress and can bring you down mentally. Do things that make you happy. Visit with friends, become active in your community, do volunteer work, and spend time with family. These are all things that will help you be happier. Above all else, seek to make others happy first, and keep yourself active in the world around you. Try to find ways to serve others whenever you can. These are all things that will help you grow self confidence.

Exams..OMG! how to concentrate on your studies

Do you have have problems concentrating? Believe it or not, you are not alone! The first thing we need to do - before we can find a remedy for this problem - is to define the term "concentration" itself. According to Princeton University, concentration means:

"great and constant diligence and attention"

This is interesting... If concentration is related to attention then that means that we should be able to improve our concentration by simply becoming more attentive, right?


Now, here's a few suggestions on how to do just that:

Apply The 5 More Rule

Instead of just quitting the task all together, you tell yourself to do only 5 more things before you quit. When these have been accomplished you promise yourself again to only do 5 more things (such as writing only 5 more pages, solving only 5 more math problems etc). The keyword here is the word 'only'; by decreasing the size of the task cognitively you feel less hesitant to abonden it altogether. There's an arabic proverb that says:

"If you Can't finish it altogether - Then Don't leave it altogether"

Treat Yourself Like A Child

What do you do when your little child has accomplished a task? Well, you praise the little fellow and give him/her a reward. Treat yourself in the same manner by offering yourself incentives when ever you've completed a task. This will improve your motivation which inin turn improves your concentration. For more information on increasing your motivation, please refer to this post improve your study motivation.

Why wait? Do It Now!

Procrastination is without doubt one of the biggest enemies you will face as a student. The temptation to delay your studies will always be strong, to counter this your will to succeed must be stronger. Why procrastinate and do something tomorrow if the same task can be done today?

Remove all possible distractions:

The sad thing is that we don't always notice when we are being distracted! There are really two kinds of distractions:

Those that are visible, such as someone who is having a lenghty (and boring) discussion with you during your 'offical study time'. Each and every "cell in your body" tells you that this is very disturbing.

The kind of distractions that are not picked up by 'our radar'. This type is actually worse than the previous one. You can always tell your annoying friend that you're busy but how on earth will you rid yourself from something that you're not even aware of in the first place?



Examples of such distractions are (in no particular order); talking with someone on a topic that interests you, watching a movie while studying/working, listening to music and so forth. All of these things are distracting you from your studies even though you're not thinking about it. The best way to avoid these types of distractions is by avoiding them from the start.

Make a Task List

A to do list is basically a tasklist that makes it easier to concentrate on your subject. It does this by making you think only about one issue at a time. Task lists are in some ways the opposite of mind mapping, since the latter involves scattering ones thoughts instead of collecting them. Although that's a good way to initiate a project, it's not very useful when it comes to actually doing the task in question.

4 Ways to improve your Study Motivation:

Finding motivation, especially study motivation, is not always easy. However, with a little effort we can learn how to increase our motivation. Here are a couple of ways of doing it:


1. Offer Your Self Incentives

Yes, you should give yourself a prize or some sort of reward when you’ve accomplished a task. It could be something as simple as sweets (see the picture, who would turn down this beautiful Danish pastry? …) or something greater like a vacation.

Remember, you have to stipulate the exact conditions that you need to fulfill in order to receive the wonderful cake (I am sorry if I’m rambling about the cake, it is just that the picture made me lose my concentration …)

2. Remember Past Successes

You need to form a positive image in your brain about your studies. I am sure all of us have succeeded on several occasions, remember these past successes and you will feel more motivated to continue!

3. Write Down Your Goals

Don’t just think them, don’t just say them, write them down! The written word is so powerful, that’s why you find salesmen always want you to write something done before you actually make a purchase. By writing your name down, you are in a sense giving your support for their cause. If then asked to make a purchase you will feel more inclined to do that than if you hadn’t signed the paper!

4. See Your Goals (literally speaking…)

Don’t just write them down and leave it like that. Put them up on the wall, paste small post-it notes all over the place. You have to keep on reminding yourself the purpose behind your studies and what type of results you’re expecting to achieve.

keep yourself mentally strong

Get to know yourself honestly, admitting BOTH your strengths and weaknesses and ACCEPT YOURSELF as you are. If something bothers you, you can work on changing it, but first you have to accept yourself as human and that it's ok to make mistakes. Remember, God loves you as you are and thinks you are perfect in your imperfections.

Only change things about yourself for YOU, not to satisfy the demands of any other person.

Accept others as they are and realize you do not need to change them and they do not need to live their lives as YOU would have them live their lives. If they have failings, it's their right to hang onto those, even if they are not good for that person. If you don't expect perfection of others, they can't disappoint you.

Build on your strengths to become stronger.
Learn to find joy in little things.
Thank God for small blessings and good events in your life.

Accept that you are nice looking. Your acceptance of you brings out your inner beauty.

Tell yourself you are learning new things every day and as a result you are becoming stronger mentally and emotionally every day. Keep telling yourself this each day... Write a lits of your good attributes one one side and the attributes that are getting better on the other side. Read it to yourself. This exercise will help a lot

How to manage yourself in tensed position

If you don’t handle pressure or stress well, now is not the time to reveal that. Take a crash course in handling it. Honesty is the best policy in interviews. Honestly, if you can’t handle pressure or stress then you don’t belong in the work place.
The question is asked for exactly the reason it seems. The interviewer wants to know how well you handle pressure and stress. Give a positive answer, along with a real world example of how you’ve handled stress in the work place.
Embrace Them:
“Pressure and stress are part of the working world. I thrive under pressure. I bend, work harder, but I don’t break.”
Avoid Them:
“I plan and react to situations, not to pressure and stress. The best way to handle them is to deflate them as quickly as possible with calm, diligent work. One step at a time.”
They Improve Me
“I do my best work under pressure or in a stressful environment.”
Channel Them
‘That’s why I box. At the end of a work day I take it out on the punching bag.”
Management
“Stress and pressure are often caused by a lack of communication or a clear understanding of a task. I make sure to communicate with my superiors, colleagues and staff so that we’re on the same page. That way we all know what to expect, and things don’t get tense.”
Types of Examples:
Deadline Changed
“One Friday the boss let us know the deadline had changed from the following Friday to the following Monday. I got him to buy lunch, dinner and late night snacks over the weekend, so that the team and I could get the job done on time.”
Someone Dropped the Ball
“One of our producers completely missed a deadline. I was waiting on that work to start my part of the project. I sat down with her and helped her finish her part, in return for her helping me with mine. We finished all the work ahead of schedule.”
Non Specific Example:
“When things get really tense I huddle with my co-workers and figure out how to improve the situation. Sometimes it means a few extra hours for everyone, but we know going in. Knowing is half the battle.”
Avoid this answer, given by a woman who didn’t get the job. “When things get tough, I usually retreat to the restroom for a good cry.”